Friday, February 19, 2010

Ooops!

It just slipped out. We were talking to Kyle’s guitar instructor about Kyle being left-handed and the fact that neither David nor I are left-handed so the instructor asked where Kyle got “it” from and I said, “Well, I’m adopted so I don’t really know about my family history.” Kyle’s head turned like it was on a swivel. “You’re adopted?” he stammered. Uh, yeah. He stood there for a moment or two letting it sink in and then he was whisked away for his guitar lesson. And we haven’t talked about it since. Not exactly the “learning experience” I envisioned our adoption discussion to be.

Just last summer I had lunch with my brother (who is also adopted) and asked him how he had discussed being adopted with his own children (14 and 16) and he said that it wasn’t an actual discussion, more like a fact statement during some regular family discussion that led to a few questions and that was it. I mean it’s not like some big family secret or something – we’ve always known we were adopted, I don’t remember a time when I didn’t know. I had just hoped to have a more structured discussion about it – not a slip of the tongue in a music store!

Anyway, all that to say I plan to bring it up again with Kyle – let him ask questions if he wants and try to answer them honestly. What makes this all the more interesting is it came about at a time when I’ve been dealing with developments in my own adoption history. Things I’m not quite ready to talk about, but I’m getting there.

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On another note – wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve updated my blog! Damn Facebook!